The Love Dare

I recently watched the movie Fireproof.  I felt inspired to purchase The Love Dare and see how I live it.  I love how it involves scriptures in a daily “challenge” to love your spouse.  I thought I would include my personal journey here, since I am going to focus on the scriptures they provide.  The quoted scriptures in the book are from the NIV version of the Bible, but I will be referencing the King James version.

To start, I thought I would give a little background on my marriage.  I have been married since June of 2001.  At times I feel like a newlywed who is still figuring things out, but most of the time I feel like I’ve been married for quite a while already.  My husband and I are doing pretty good right now.  We are pretty happy with our life as a family.  However, we have two young children and it can be difficult at times to remember that we are a couple still, not just parents.  I thought that even though we are not in the situation that the couple in the movie were in, I could use a reminder on loving my spouse more.  As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I believe that I will be able to be with my husband for eternity because we have been sealed in the Temple of the Lord.  My children will have this opportunity with their spouses as well, but I will not be standing next to them forever.  I want to continue to strengthen my relationship with my husband, because he will be the one person I have the opportunity to always be with.

The Love Dare is 40 days of learning how to love your spouse unconditionally.  I will be selective on what I quote from the book itself.  Mostly I want to use this page of my blog, to journal what I learn from this experience.

 

Day 1:  Love is Patient

Scriptures

Ephesians 4:2 – “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;”

Proverbs 14:29 – “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”

Proverbs 15:18 – “A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.”

1 Thessalonians 5:15 – “See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.”

James 1:19 – “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

Dare

“Resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all.  If the temptations arises, choose not to say anything.”

Journal

I started the day by reading everything under Day 1.  It all makes perfect sense.  As I was growing up, I was often complimented on the amount of patience I had.  But once I got married, I found that my patience was not as good as I thought.  Learning to live with someone else is a wonderful, but challenging experience.  I have found that patience with others outside my home sometimes comes easier to me.  In fact, my 2008 New Year’s Resolution was to be more patient with my 4-year old daughter.  It was a hard year.  Yesterday, was actually okay.  I had a rough day myself and I can’t say I was the best with my daughter, but when it came to patience with my husband, I was fine.  I had no feelings of anger, but I did have a moment of weakness with sarcasm.  I am often sarcastic with those I love and I know I need to work on it more.  I realize that sarcasm can hurt just as much as things said out of anger.  Of all people, I do not want to hurt my husband.  I’ll try harder tomorrow.

 

Day 2:  Love is Kind

Scriptures

Ephesians 4:32 – “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

Proverbs 3:3-4- “Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart (v. 3):  So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man (v. 4).”

Luke 10:30-37- “And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead (v. 30).  And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side (v. 31).  And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side (v. 32).  But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him (v. 33), And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him (v. 34).  And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee (v. 35).  Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves (v. 36)?  And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise (v. 37).”

Proverbs 31:26- “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Proverbs 19:22- “The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.”

Dare

“In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.”

Journal

I spent the day thinking of what I might do that would be unexpected.  Usually when my husband arrives home from work, I am taking care of the kids and he makes dinner for the family.  (I am not that great in the kitchen.)  Anyway, I decided that I would have dinner ready for him when he arrived home from work.  I got it all ready and it finished about 2 minutes before he arrived home.  When he came in the house, he came in the kitchen and saw that I had made dinner.  He seemed pleasantly surprised.  I began dishing it up and he proceeded to go work on his computer.   When it was ready, I told him, and he continued to work on his computer.  My 5 year old was ready to eat and he said he would be right there, so we started to eat.  He didn’t come to eat until I had finished my plate and his was a lot colder than I had intended.  I know he really appreciated it and it felt nice to have it ready for him, but I was a bit disappointed that he wanted to be on the computer rather than eat with me.  Now that I have had some time to think about it, I’m sure that he did not mean to cause me disappointment.  I sure that he had something he felt was important to handle.  It won’t stop me from continuing this journey.

I talked to my husband a lot today, because we were trying to buy a new camera online.  He gets frustrated with me at times when we are doing things on the computer, especially over the phone, and I tend to respond in a defensive manner with unkind words.  I tried my best to remember to hold my tongue.  I think I did okay.  I kept my sarcasm in check as well.  I said one thing without thinking and then followed it up with an immediate “You know I’m just kidding, right?”  It’s something that may take some time to truly control.

I need to remember the four ingredients to kindness:  gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative.  I think I expect more from him, then I have been willing to initiate myself.  I’ll need to do better with this.

 

Day 3:  Love Is Not Selfish

Scriptures

Romans 12:10- “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”

1 Corinthians 13:5- [Charity, the pure love of Christ] “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”

Philippians 2:3- “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

James 3:16- “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

Dare

“Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.  It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in.  Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”

Journal

Today’s dare was pretty fun.  I spent the morning considering what I could buy for my husband.  We don’t have a lot of extra money, so I kept it to what everyday kind of thing would show him I was thinking of him.  I decided to get him a treat.  We both love a particular soda, which we only get when we go out to eat.  I bought him his own 12-pack and a box of cheese-its, which are his favorite snack food.  I had planned on being out at an activity when he arrived home, so I wrote I Love You all over the box of cheese-its and then left a note telling him the soda was his.  I was actually really glad not to be there when he first saw it.  I think it helped me to keep any selfish motives in check, because I was not sitting there expected him to say something to me when he found them.  Then, when I arrived home, I went straight to my own stuff and a while later he sat down to watch a show with me and brought his treat.  (He ended up giving me a soda, even though I said they were his.  He said he wanted to do that with his soda.  It was really sweet.)  I can’t recall if I said anything that could be seen as negative (or sarcastic).  We didn’t have a lot of time together to talk today.

I was really excited to put my energy into this dare today.  Not because I enjoy shopping, because I really don’t, but because it was fun to think of all the things that I could get him that he would like.  I wanted it to be something that was not for me as well, because we tend to get each other gifts that we both will enjoy.  I made it a point to make this treat his, and not my own.  I surprised myself at how I felt totally okay with giving him the sodas without any for myself.  (I really do enjoy them as well.)  I would probably have preferred it if he hadn’t shared, but I wanted to accept his kind gesture as well.  Today was a good day.

 

Day 4:  Love Is Thoughtful

Scriptures

Psalms 139:17-18 – “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them (v. 17)!  If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee (v. 18 ).”

Genesis 2:18 – “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Philippians 1:3 – “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,”

Dare

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day.  Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Journal

I did not have the chance to take care of this in one day.  I came across this dare on a Saturday, which happens to be a day when my husband and I spend nearly every hour together.  This Saturday was just like that.  We were together from 7:00 am until 12:30 am Sunday morning (except 2 hours when I went to a baby shower and spent almost the entire time taking pictures for the mom-to-be).  The day was filled with service projects and visiting family, and I didn’t want to rush this opportunity.  I’ll try again, but it being Sunday may prove to be a little difficult.  I think I may need be creative on my approach.  We’ll see.

Sunday was about as difficult as Saturday, so I decided that I would take some time while we were relaxing together to see how my husband was doing.  His response was brief because we had spent most of the day together as it was.  I asked if I could do anything for him and he asked for a back rub, which I willingly gave.  I think it was appreciated, although I really don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to giving back rubs.  The idea of asking how my husband is doing is already a natural part of my day.

I’m still having issues with keeping my sarcasm in check, but at least now I am notice when I do it.  (baby steps)

 

Day 5:  Love is not Rude

Scriptures

Proverbs 27:14 – “He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.”

Proverbs 25:24 – “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.”

Psalms 112:5 – “A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion.”

Luke 6:31 – “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.”

Ecclesiastes 10:12 – “The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.”

Dare

“Ask you spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.  You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.  This is from their perspective only.”

Journal

I sat down with my husband to ask him to tell me of three things that I do that annoy him.  I had to truly prepare myself not to respond in a defensive manner, because I have asked him this type of question before.  Once I assured him that I would not get mad at him for his response, he started to think.  The good news for me was that it took him time to think of an answer, and he only felt strongly about two.  He worked really hard to come up with a third response.  As he answered I did not feel like defending myself, but instead I felt like agreeing with him.

1.  I often ask him for help with a situation/question and no matter what his response is, I come up with every possible way that it will not work.  I know I do this.  I like to be prepared for any “worst case scenario”, which means that I often assume the worst thing will happen.  He’d rather I not ask him, if I am going to respond this way.  

-I will make my best effort to listen to his suggestions with a positive outlook on the situation and ask more questions if I feel I don’t understand how it may work.

2.  I get really down on myself.  I tend to focus on something I’ve done wrong, for long periods of time.  He would rather that I realize what went wrong and that it is in the past and I can’t do anything about it.  He wants me to move on and not hold onto these things.  

-This one is gonna take some real work.  It is part of my character and I know it is not attractive.  I have unrealistic ideas of how things should be and I understand I can’t be so hard on myself. Plus, I understand that he loves me and doesn’t want me to be upset.  I will have to think about how to be a little easier on myself.  I’m not sure what it will take at this point.

3.  (This one is not a huge deal to him.)  I occasionally get upset when I’ve fallen asleep during a show, which happens quite often, and he lets me sleep when I really wanted to see the show.  I tend to take the frustration of not being able to stay away, out on him.  

-I totally get this and I’m working on not trying to watch shows really late, because I am not a night person.  If I am tired, I tend to be moody.  I am going to try to apply the “early to bed, early to rise” mentality because that is what is best for me.

 

Day 6:  Love Is Not Irritable

Scriptures

Proverbs 16:32 – “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

Colossians 3:12-14 – “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering (v. 12); Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye (v. 13).  And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness (v. 14).”

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (v. 6).  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (v. 7).”

Exodus 18:17-23 (Delegation) – “And Moses’ father in law said unto him, The thing that thou doest is not good (v. 17).  Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone (v. 18).  Hearken now unto my voice, I will give thee counsel, and God shall be with thee: Be thou for the people to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God (v. 19):  And thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt shew them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do (v. 20).  Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them, to be rulers of thousands, and rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens (v. 21):  And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee (v. 22).  If thou shalt do this thing, and God command thee so, then thou shalt be able to endure, and all this people shall also go to their place in peace (v. 23).”

Proverbs 25:16 (overindulgence) – “Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.”

Matthew 12:34 – “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”

James 4:1-3 (Lust) – “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members (v. 1)?  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not (v. 2).  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts (v. 3).”

Ephesians 4:31 (Bitterness) – “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:”

1 Timothy 6:9-10 (Greed) – “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition (v. 9).  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (v. 10).”

Acts 24:16 – “And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.”

Dare

“Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.  Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.”

Journal

I came up with my first way to add margin to my life.  I have a deficiency of rest, so I am trying to start to go to bed earlier, which will therefore help with my excessive tv watching.  If I can do it, I will be working on two items that will give my life some breathing room that it does not have right now.  I’ll keep this in mind for more items.

I don’t know when I recently overreacted.  Not that I haven’t because I know I do at times, but I just can’t remember the most recent situation.  I’m sure my overreaction came from either being tired or stressed.  These are regular things in my life right now.

Motivations that I could work on are first, doing things for praise.  I need to make sure that when I do things for my husband, I am not doing them for a compliment.  Second, I believe I have some bitterness.  Specifically, when I am tired, I become bitter if I think my husband is sleeping excessively.  If I can feel less exhausted, I will probably not be bitter when he is sleeping and I am not.

Today there were not any “tough” circumstances for me to deal with.  I am going to try harder to think before I say anything and work on being even the slightest bit judgmental in my thoughts.

 

Day 7:  Love Believes The Best

Scriptures

1 Corinthians 13:7 – [Charity/Pure Love of Christ] “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

Dare

“For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper.  On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse.  Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet.  Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each.  At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.”

Journal

I probably spent an equal amount of time on each list.  I guess this says that I need to work on believing the best.  I have more items on the positive list than on the negative, which is a good thing.  I was glad to have done this today, becuase it kept me thinking about all the my husband does for me.  I am truly grateful for him in my life.  He was so helpful with the kids when he was home, so I thanked him for that after he helped me put them to bed.

I love the idea of looking at this concept like I’m in a room.  I think I spend more time in the Depreciation Room than I should.  This is something that I definitely need to work on in the future.

 

Day 8:  Love Is Not Jealous

Scriptures

Song of Solomon 8:6 – “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”

Proverbs 27:4 – “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?”

Deuteronomy 4:24 – “For the Lord thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.”

James 3:16 – “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

James 4:1-2 – “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members (v. 1)?  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not (v. 2).”

Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and aweep with them that weep.”

Dare

“Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy.  To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it.  Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.”

Journal

Burning the list was really easy for me to do, since I really didn’t enjoy making it in the first place.  However, my husband came in a while later and the smell was pretty strong still.  He began to question what I had burned and I had to tell him it was nothing important and to let it go.  (He did.)

I love it when my husband comes home from work, feeling like he accomplished a lot and that he really liked his work.  He’s an artist and I can really appreciate his work also, so when he shows me what he’s done, I am honestly proud of him.  I think he is really talented.  He hasn’t told me anything recently about his work, except that he’s been pretty busy, so I decided to bask in his glory of completing a level on a game he’s been playing.  He really enjoys playing a puzzle game on his iPod to wind down his day, which is odd because I’m the puzzle lover and he usually does not like them as much.  He completed a really difficult level and I was excited for him.  Then he decided to let me play a round with him, which was fun to do together.  I will gladly encourage him, when he tells me of his next success at work, because it is not a hard thing to do.  I will need to pay closer attention to the other successes that he has in his life, so he can feel my support.

 

Day 9:  Love Makes Good Impressions

Scriptures

1 Peter 5:14 – “Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.”

Luke 15:20 – “And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”

Philemon 1:7 – “For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee, brother.”

Dare

“Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today.  Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.  The determine to change your greeting to reflect love for them.”

Journal

This was particularly fun and easy today.  My husband and I enjoy greeting each other with a smile, a “hi honey”, a hug, or a kiss.  We also make it a point to give each other a kiss at the beginning of the day, when we return home, before we leave, or before we go to bed at night.  I made it a point to show my interest in what his day had been like.  I even tried to show my love when I greeted him over the phone, which is a bit harder to do.  I think the real challenge will be in doing this even on the days when I’m tired and worn out from taking care of the kids and the house.  I’ll try to keep this in mind the next time that kind of day comes up.

 

Day 10:  Love Is Unconditional

Scriptures

Romans 5:8 – “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

1 John 4:10 – “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

1 John 4:19 – “We love him, because he first loved us.”

1 Corinthians 13:7 – [Charity] “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Romans 8:38-39 – “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come (v. 38), Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (v. 39).”

Psalms 32:10 – “Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about.”

Dare

“Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse–something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else.  Wash her car.  Clean the kitchen.  Buy his favorite dessert.  Fold the laundry.  Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.”

Journal

I love what the book says about God’s love for us.  ”He doesn’t love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving…If He insisted that we prove ourselves worthy of His love, we would fail miserably.”  I guess it really is easier to love someone who shows us their love for us.  I think my love for my husband has been primarily because he loves me.  He really works hard to take care of me.  Right now it has been pretty easy to be willing to do good things for my husband, because I can feel his love for me.  In fact, since I have been doing the love dare, he has done a lot of unexpected nice things to show his love for me as well.

I have no idea how I would be doing with this journey if he was not being as kind and loving in return.  I would hope that I would still be able to do it, and I know that I would be able to grow more that way.  I have to remember that I love my husband “period” and not because he loves me.

Today was Saturday and it was a particularly busy day for our family.  I was absolutely tired by dinner time and ready to call it a night.  This usually means I relax and watch shows or go online until bed.  I gave my daughters a bath while my husband went out to buy groceries for us.  As soon as I got the girls to bed, I decided that instead of relaxing for the night, I would try to clean up our messy house, so that he would have something nice to come home to.  It was a challenge to overcome my desire to sit down, but it was nice knowing that I was doing it for him.

 

Day 11:  Love Cherishes

Scriptures

Ephesians 5:28-29 – “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself (v. 28).  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (v. 29):”

Mark 10:51 – “And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.” (Jesus said “What do you want Me to do for you?”)

Dare

“What need does your spouse have that you could meet today?  Can you run an errand?  Give a back rub or a foot massage?  Is there housework you could help with?  Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.”

Journal

My husband was going to be coming home pretty late and then helping me by putting a do-it-yourself cabinet together.  While he was out and the kids were in bed, I got out all of the tools, the cabinet pieces, and the hardware that he needed.  I placed all the pieces in the order that he would need them and made sure all the parts were there for him.  Then as he put it together I made sure that the next parts were ready to go.  I really enjoy having things ready for him to work on.  I think I will try to ask what he needs from me on a more regular basis.

 

Day 12:  Love Lets The Other Win

Scriptures

Philippians 2:4-5 – “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (v. 4).  Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus (v. 5):”

James 3:17 – “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”

Romans 12:18 – “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

Dare

“Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse.  Tell them you are putting their preference first.”

Journal

I could not think of an area of disagreement that we are having right now, so I’ll have to keep this in mind when the next one comes up.

 

Day 13:  Love Fights Fair

Scriptures

Mark 3:25 – “And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”

James 1:19 – “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

Matthew 7:3 – “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

Proverbs 15:1 – “A SOFT answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

Romans 12:16 – “Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.”

Dare

“Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement.  If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by.  Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.”

Journal

My husband went along with my request without any hesitation.  I am pretty sure he knows that I am doing the love dare, so he’s going along with it.  Our rules are:

1. We will not fight in front of our children.
2. We will not do anything to hurt each other physically.
3. We will not go to bed or leave the house angry with one another.
4. We will allow one another to finish are thoughts before responding.
5. We will not raise our voices to one another.
6. If we are doing one of these items, the other is free to mention it (remind) without making the situation worse.

I have to pay close attention to rule #4.  I am an interrupter.  I do it often in normal conversation and really often in arguments.  I think that personally, I’ll add rule #7 – I will try to stick to the situation at hand and not bring up other issues that are unrelated.

 

Day 14:  Love Takes Delight

Scriptures

Ecclesiastes 9:9 – “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.”

Song of Solomon 2:3-4 – “As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste (v. 3).  He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love (v. 4).”

Song of Solomon 2:13-14 – “The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away (v. 13).  O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely (v. 14).”

Proverbs 23:26 – “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.”

Dare

“Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.  Do something he or she would like to do or a project they’d really like to work on.  Just be together.”

Journal

Well today did not go as well as I imagined it would.  I think it was just a bad day for me.  I put aside working on the computer to help put something together, but I didn’t do it with the right spirit.  I figured that later I would try again, so I tried to play a game instead of watching shows.  I thought it would be fun to play together, but I got uncomfortable and complained, which annoyed my husband and a little thing turned into a bigger thing and we got into an unexpected argument.  I don’t think this would have turned out this way normally, but I may have been a bit too tired to play.  I think I get more emotional then necessary when I am tired.  (As a side note:  our rules of engagement did not work as well as they should have.  I’ll have to work on this more.)

 

Day 15:  Love Is Honorable

Scriptures

1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Romans 12:10 – “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

Jeremiah 30:19 – “And out of them shall proceed thanksgiving and the voice of them that make merry: and I will multiply them, and they shall not be few; I will also glorify them, and they shall not be small.”

Dare

“Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine.  It may be holding the door for her.  It might be putting his clothes away for him.  It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication.  Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.”

Journal

First all, I have an update to the “Day 14″ dare.  We played our game the following night and really enjoyed each others company.  I really think that day was just a really bad day for me.  I do enjoy spending my free time with my husband.

As for this current dare, I guess I have to put more thought into it.  I tried my best to be honorable in how I spoke to my husband.  The other suggestions were things that are part of my normal schedule, so nothing was really above the normal routine.  I am still trying to get a handle on my sarcasm and I know that if I can do that I will be showing honor and respect for him.  I did let him “geek out” about some random things that normally I may not have, because they are things that he is interested in and wants to share with me.

I think that I need to continue to pay attention to how I choose to speak to my husband.

 

Day 16:  Love Intercedes

Scriptures

3 John 1:2 – “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

Luke 18:1 – “And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;”

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (v. 6).  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (v. 7).”

Acts 12:1-17 – “Now about that time Herod the king stretched forth his hands to vex certain of the church (v. 1).  And he killed James the brother of John with the sword (v.2).  And because he saw it pleased the Jews, he proceeded further to take Peter also. (Then were the days of aunleavened bread (v. 3).)  And when he had apprehended him, he put him in prison, and delivered him to four quaternions of soldiers to keep him; intending after Easter to bring him forth to the people (v. 4).  Peter therefore was kept in prison: but prayer was made without ceasing of the church unto God for him (v. 5).  And when Herod would have brought him forth, the same night Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains: and the keepers before the door kept the prison (v. 6).  And, behold, the angel of the Lord came upon him, and a light shined in the prison: and he smote Peter on the side, and raised him up, saying, Arise up quickly. And his chains fell off from his hands (v. 7).  And the angel said unto him, Gird thyself, and bind on thy sandals. And so he did. And he saith unto him, Cast thy garment about thee, and follow me (v. 8 ).  And he went out, and followed him; and wist not that it was true which was done by the angel; but thought he saw a vision (v. 9).  When they were past the first and the second ward, they came unto the iron gate that leadeth unto the city; which opened to them of his own accord: and they went out, and passed on through one street; and forthwith the angel departed from him (v. 10).  And when Peter was come to himself, he said, Now I know of a surety, that the Lord hath sent his angel, and hath delivered me out of the hand of Herod, and from all the expectation of the people of the Jews (v. 11).  And when he had considered the thing, he came to the house of Mary the mother of John, whose surname was Mark; where many were gathered together praying (v. 12).  And as Peter knocked at the door of the gate, a damsel came to hearken, named Rhoda (v. 13).  And when she knew Peter’s voice, she opened not the gate for gladness, but ran in, and told how Peter stood before the gate (v. 14).  And they said unto her, Thou art mad. But she constantly affirmed that it was even so. Then said they, It is his angel (v. 15).  But Peter continued knocking: and when they had opened the door, and saw him, they were astonished (v. 16).  But he, beckoning unto them with the hand to hold their peace, declared unto them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison. And he said, Go shew these things unto James, and to the brethren. And he departed, and went into another place (v. 17).”

James 5:16 – “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Matthew 7:7 – “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:”

John 9:31 – “Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.”

Dare

“Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart.  Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.”

Journal

I rely on pray every day of my life.  Praying for my husband is not a hard thing to do, because I pray for him whenever I feel he has a need.  I enjoy praying for his success, safety and guidance by the spirit.  I know the Lord hears my prayers and if it is the will of God than those things I pray for will happen.  I will continue to keep my husband in my prayers.

 

Day 17:  Love Promotes Intimacy

Scriptures

Proverbs 17:9 – “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.”

1 John 4:18 – “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”

Genesis 2:25 – “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”

Psalms 139:2-4 – “Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off (v. 2).  Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways (v. 3).  For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether (v. 4).”

Song of Solomon 6:3 – “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.”

Dare

“Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them.  Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues.  Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you.  Make them feel safe.”

Journal

I don’t think I said anything critical today.  I even think I was good with holding back any sarcasm.  We did not have a lot of time together because he was out doing things for his calling.  I listened when he shared some work stuff and some stuff he worked on late last night.  I feel I showed his support and also some joy when he said he was able to fix a problem he was having.  I think I need to work on focusing entirely on him when he is telling me things, because I tend to want to multi-task even when he is sharing this stuff with me.

 

Day 18:  Love Seeks To Understand

Scriptures

Proverbs 3:13 – “Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.”

Proverbs 13:15 – “Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.”

Jude 1:10 – “But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves.”

Proverbs 18:15 – “The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Proverbs 10:14 – “Wise men lay up knowledge: but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.”

Proverbs 20:5 – “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

Proverbs 2:6 – “For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.”

Proverbs 24:3-4 “Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (v. 3):  And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches (v. 4).”

Proverbs 4:7 – “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

Dare

“Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you.  The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.  Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about.  Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.”

Journal

I had my Mother-in-law watch our daughters for the night, made a nice meal and had the house nice and clean when he got home.  We went together and rented a movie while my food was cooling a little.  We ate and talked for about an hour and then watched a movie together.  It was a great night and even after we picked up the girls and put them to bed, we continued to watch shows together and talk some more, rather than going on the computers and being together, but not really together like usual.

I learned a bit about my spouse that I did not know before last night.  There were things that I thought I knew, but when he answered my questions I found out that I was not right.  I think I have assumed a lot with him.  I also learned that we have some things in common that I didn’t really know about before, such as we both have a desire to travel (I thought that was just something I wanted to do some day.)  I think if I can learn how to ask questions and listen more often, that I will really know him better.  I think having time to sit and talk about goals and dreams without any distractions will make our night one to remember.  I really enjoyed it and I think he did as well.

 

Day 19:  Love Is Impossible

Scriptures

1 John 4:7 – “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.”

Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” (we fall short)

Romans 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

John 15:5 – “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”

John 15:7 – “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.”

Ephesians 3:19 – “And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.”

Ephesians 3:20 – “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,”

Romans 5:5 – “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

Matthew 19:26 – “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”

Dare

“Look back over the dares from previous days.  Were there some that seemed impossible to you?  Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love?  Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.”

Journal

As a member of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I know that I need my Father in Heaven to get through this life.  I pray often for help with my short comings and I am learning to pray for my husband more.  I will continue to ask for God’s guidance through the spirit’s promptings.  I love my husband and I am working towards being like God and having an unconditional love for him.

 

Day 20:  Love Is Jesus Christ

Scriptures

Romans 5:6 – “For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.”

Luke 19:10 – “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.”

2 Corinthians 6:2 – “(For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)”

Acts 3:19 – “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;”

1 John 4:9 – “In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.”

Philippians 2:6-8 – “Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God (v. 6):  But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men (v. 7):  And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross (v. 8 ).”

1 Peter 2:24 – “Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.”

Romans 5:7-8 – “For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die (v. 7).  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (v. 8 ).”

Romans 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God (v. 8 ):  Not of works, lest any man should boast (v. 9).”

Romans 10:9-10 – “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved (v. 9).  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation (v. 10).”

1 John 3:16, 23 – “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren (v. 16).  And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment (v. 23).”

1 John 4:8 – “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.”

Isaiah 63:9 – “In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them: in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; and he bare them, and carried them all the days of old.”

Dare

“Dare to take God at His word.  Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation.  Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner.  But you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your resurrection.  Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace.”

Journal

I had a more sincere prayer for my marriage, my spouse and for my own weaknesses.  I think of the Savior’s gift of His life and death often.  I am ever grateful for all that he suffered for me.  I love my Savior and I pray that I can extend His love to my husband on a more regular basis.

 

Day 21:  Love Is Satisfied In God

Scriptures

Isaiah 58:11 – “And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.”

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God (v. 6).  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (v. 7).”

Philippians 4:12-13 – “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need (v. 12).  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (v. 13).”

Philippians 4:19 – “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Psalms 37:4 – “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

John 4:10 – “Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.”

Psalms 145:16 – “Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing.”

Dare

“Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your bible (scriptures).  Try reading a chapter out of proverbs each day (there are thirty-one–a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).  As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you.  This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.”

Journal

I enjoy reading scriptures almost every day right now (see main page of this blog).  That part of this dare is not hard.  I am enjoying learning of God’s promises every day I read.  The harder part for me is personal prayers.  I pray with my family often and I often have a prayer in my heart as I go throughout my day, but praying morning and night, as I know I should, is harder for me.  I am trying to get into the habit.  I did however, pray intentionally today, both in the morning and night.  Praying and reading the scriptures helps me to be a better person and therefore a better wife and mother.  I am so glad that I have the scriptures in my life and I am glad that I can pray and receive personal revelation, especially with regard to my marriage.

 

Day 22:  Love Is Faithful

Scriptures

Hosea 2:20 – “I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.”

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

Luke 10:27 – “And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.”

John 13:35 – “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

Ephesians 3:17 – “That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,”

1 Peter 4:8 – “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

1 Thessalonians 3:12 – “And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you:”

Ephesians 1:7 – “In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;”

Luke 6:27-28 – “But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you (v. 27), Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you (v. 28 ).”

Luke 6:32-33 – “For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them (v. 32).  And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same (v. 33).”

Luke 6:35 – “But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.”

Psalms 119:30 – “I have chosen the way of truth: thy judgments have I laid before me.”

Dare

“Love is a choice, not a feeling.  It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction.  Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.  Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you.  Period.  I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”

Journal

Telling my husband that I love him (period) is easy.  I am fortunate to be in a marriage that we truly love each other.  I know that I owe that love to having the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  I owe that love to being able to kneel together in prayer.  If my husband were to stop returning my love, I pray that I will be closer to God than I am now, so that I will be able to continue giving love to him.  I know that Christ’s love is shown through my actions, so if I can continue to serve my husband with a willing heart, I will continue to show him my love.

 

Day 23:  Love Always Protects

Scriptures

1 Corinthians 13:7 – [Love] “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Ezekiel 34:8 – “As I live, saith the Lord God, surely because my flock became a prey, and my flock became meat to every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, neither did my shepherds search for my flock, but the shepherds fed themselves, and fed not my flock;”

Proverbs 14:1 – “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Matthew 24:43 – “But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.”

Job 22:23 – “If thou return to the Almighty, thou shalt be built up, thou shalt put away iniquity far from thy tabernacles.”

Dare

“Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.”

Journal

I took an inventory of my life to decide what may take away from my relationship with my husband.  I considered harmful influences, but we’ve made it a point to stop watching shows that seemed to be inappropriate and the internet is not a problem for me.  I considered if I have any unhealthy relationships, but I rarely talk to anyone other than my husband and our family members. I thought of possible parasites, but I think the only thing that drains from my marriage is the energy that is taken because of taking care of kids all day.  There isn’t a lot I can do about that right now.  I think that I may have an issue in the “shame” area.  I’ve been working on it, but still need work.  When I talk to other women and the conversation shifts to talking about husbands, it’s easy to chime in with things that may not be perfect in my own marriage.  I spent today trying to think before talking to anyone.  I even caught myself before saying one thing that my husband may not have appreciated me saying, so I guess it was a success today.  It’s a lot like working on gossiping.  It’s going to be something that I face each day, and I will try my best because I want to protect my marriage.

 

Day 24:  Love vs. Lust

Scriptures

1 John 2:17 – “And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.”

1 Timothy 6:7 – “For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.”

Matthew 6:25-33 – “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment (v. 25)?  Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they (v. 26)?  Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature (v.27)?  And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin (v. 28):  And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these (v. 29).  Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith (v. 30)?  Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed (v. 31)?  (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things (v. 32).  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you (v. 33).”

1 Timothy 6:9 – “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.”

James 4:1 – “From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?”

2 Peter 1:3-4 – “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue (v. 3):  Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust (v. 4).”

Proverbs 5:18-21 – “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth (v. 18 ).  Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (v. 19).  And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger (v. 20)?  For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (v. 21).”

1 John 2:15 – “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

1 Peter 2:16 – “As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.”

Dare

“End it now.  Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.  Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it.  Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom.  It must be killed and destroyed–today–and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.”

Journal

I spent the day thinking about what I may be lusting after.  I think the one thing I may lust for is a more comfortable lifestyle.  I use the excuse sometimes that I wish for it because I want my family to have better, but there is often more selfish motives for it.  I do not actively pursue it, because I am spending my time at home with my children, but I know that the desire for it does take time away from my loved ones.  I do daydream about what I could do if I had more, instead of being more grateful for what I have.  I am learning to see that what I have right now is enough to provide for our family.  I will continue to work on seeing how great I do have it, rather than thinking of what is not there.  Hopefully working on this will help me to appreciate my husband more.

 

Day 25:  Love Forgives

Scriptures

2 Corinthians 2:10 – “To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;”

Matthew 18:34-35 – “And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him (v. 34).  So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses (v. 35).”

Romans 12:19 – “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 13:5 – [Love] “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;”

Luke 23:34 – “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”

Dare

“Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today.  Let it go.  Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts”, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. h Unforgiveness as been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long.  Say from you heart, “I choose to forgive.”

Journal

I was thinking hard yesterday of what might be an issue for me, but I was struggling to come up with something, because it was not in the heat of any arguments, when I always seem to remember anything he’s done that has upset me.  However, I have an ongoing issue with my husband, which is really trivial and should not even be an issue.  When we watch shows, he often comes up with how he thinks things will end.  He is often correct.  I don’t mind that he gets an idea, but I have regularly been irritated when he has shared this with me, because it takes away the surprise of the shows reveal for me.  I’ve told his so many times that I’d like it if he kept it to himself, so that I could enjoy the show as well.  He has told me that he would respect that, but he often forgets.  I have used this as an irritation I go back to when we argue over things.  He did it again last night and I was really bothered.  The show ended and he was correct in his prediction and it did spoil the reveal of the show for me.  But I remembered this dare and before letting it get out of hand, I took a second to think about how silly it is to get mad about that.  I asked him not to do it again and told him that I forgave him for doing it and I love him.  I haven’t forgotten that he did it, but it’s not an issue now and I can get over it.  I hope that I can be more forgiving and not let the little things, that don’t really matter, get in the way of our relationship.

 

Day 26:  Love Is Responsible

Scriptures

Romans 2:1 – “Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.”

Proverbs 17:10 – “A reproof entereth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool.”

1 John 1:8-9 – “If we say that we have nobsin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us (v. 8 ).  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Galatians 6:4 – “But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.”

Dare

“Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing.  Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.  Do it sincerely and truthfully.  Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well.  No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love.  Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.”

Journal

This is an ongoing process.  I remember a while back having a lesson in church that talked about never saying anything about your spouse that you wouldn’t say in front of them.  I had just complained to my friend about something my husband had done and I knew he would have been upset by this.  I went home after that lesson and worked up the courage to tell him.  It would have been easy to let it go, because he wouldn’t have known that I ever said anything, but I realized that it doesn’t matter if he’ll never know.  I shouldn’t have done it.  It felt strange to confess to him, but he was forgiving.  I resolved then that I would try my best to keep that principle in life.  It has been hard at times, fighting the natural urge to say negative things, but I am working on it.  I think this is the area that I have to be concerned with.

I know that my husband needs to see my actions to know that my confession was more than just words.  If I can remember to think before I say things and to keep myself worthy of the spirit, I know this will not be a problem in the future.  This applies to all the selfish things I do in my marriage.

 

Day 27:  Love Encourages

Scriptures

Psalms 25:20 – “O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.”

Matthew 7:4-5 – “Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye (v. 4)?  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye (v. 5).”

Isaiah 35:3 – “Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14 – “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do (v. 11).  Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men (v. 14).”

Hebrews 10:24 – “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:”

Dare

“Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home.  Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it.  Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.”

Journal

One area of poison of unrealistic expectations was something I talked about a few “days” ago.  I have the issue regarding our television shows.  The more I thought about it the more I realized how this is his way of sharing his enjoyment with me.  I don’t want him to stop sharing that with me because I love that he shares his joys with me.  I sat down with him and told him that I realized this was asking a lot of him and I would be willing to listen to his ideas about our shows, because it is something he enjoys.  I am his best friend and confidante and to ask him not to share feelings on any part of his life, is definitely expecting too much of him.  I realized that he must get some joy out of talking about it, so why can’t I get joy as well.  We had a nice moment discussing his thoughts on a show we watch and it wasn’t bad at all.  I hope that he can feel a bit of love from this.

 

Day 28:  Love Makes Sacrifices

Scriptures

1 John 3:16 – “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.”

Matthew 25:35-36 – “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in (v. 35):  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me (v. 36).”

Acts 2:44-45 – “And all that believed were together, and had all things common (v. 44); And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need (v. 45).”

2 Corinthians 12:15 – “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.”

Galatians 6:2 – “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. ”

Dare

“What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now?  Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part?  Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.”

Journal

I tried to keep in mind the needs of my husband and I think I was able to fulfill a few.  He’s had a tiring week/weekend where he’s worked at work and worked a lot and for long hours at home.  On Saturdays I tend to tell him all that he’s going to help me with, but I saw that he needed time to relax, so I didn’t get on his case about it.  Then on Sunday, he needed a nap and instead of forcing him to stay awake because I was awake, I let him rest.  I think he really needed it and I hope that it helped him to be a little more refreshed for this coming week.  I’m going to try a little harder this week to remember to ask him what he needs and to pay attention to those needs he may not tell me about.

 

Day 29:  Love’s Motivation

Scriptures

God, the Savior, and the Holy Ghost are one in purpose:

Ephesians 6:7 – “With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:”

Colossians 3:20, 22-24 – “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord (v.20). Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God (v. 22):  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men (v. 23); Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ (v. 24).”

Colossians 3:18 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Joshua 24:15 – “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Dare

“Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs.  Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way.  God to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person-unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.”

Journal

Like has been pretty hectic this past week, so rather than working on new things each day, I worked on this dare all week.  I prayed regularly for my husband, which is not hard for me at all.  I tried to tell him I love him often and show him in the way I acted and spoke to him.  I notice more often now if I say something that may not be out of love.  This helps me to be more aware of him and his feelings.  I think also that praying for him, helps me not be so sarcastic towards him.  I’m still working on it, but this week was a pretty good week.

 

Day 30:  Love Brings Unity

Scriptures

John 17:11 – “And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.”

Genesis 1:2 – “And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.”

Hebrews 1:3 – “Who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person, and upholding all things by the word of his power, when he had by himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high;”

Genesis 1:26 – “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

Matthew 3:17 – “And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

John 6:38 – “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me.”

John 14:13 – “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”

1 Corinthians 2:11 – “For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.”

Man and Wife should be one:

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Mark 10:9 – “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Comparison of Marriage and the Lord’s relationship to the church:

Ephesians 5:27 – “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

Deuteronomy 6:4 – “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:”

Dare

“Isolate one are of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it.  Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse.  Pray that He would do the same for them.  And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.”

Journal

I thought all day about what may be an area of division.  After my husband had come home and I still had not been able to think of anything, I decided to ask him if he had noticed an area in our life/marriage where we were divided.  He thought for a while, but also could not come up with something.  That gives me a pretty good feeling.  I think that because we are both pretty faithful in the gospel of Jesus Christ and have communicated pretty well throughout our marriage so far, we do not have any areas of division.  I continue to pray for my spouse and for my marriage and I hope that should a division ever arise, that we will be able to see it for what it is and work through it with love and faith.

 

Day 31:  Love and Marriage

Scriptures

Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

Ephesians 5:33 – “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

John 17:21 – “That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.”

Dare

“Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet?  Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right.  The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it.  Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.”

Journal

There isn’t anyone that I have “leaving” issues with, which keeps me from making my husband the top priority in my life.  He has had some moments in his life, but we worked through those long ago and have found a pretty good balance of others in our life together as husband and wife.  I don’t believe this is an issue for us today.

 

Day 32:  Love Meets Sexual Needs

 Scriptures

 1 Corinthians 7:3 – “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.”

Genesis 2:18 – “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him ban help meet for him. ”

Genesis 2:24 –  ”Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”

1 Corinthians 7:4 – “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”

1 Corinthians 7:5 – “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

1 Corinthians 6:20 – “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Song of Solomon 7:6 – “How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!”

Dare/Journal

 I’ll let you buy the book for the dare here, and keep my journaling to myself.

 

Day 33:  Love Completes Each Other  

 Scriptures  

 Ecclesiastes 4:11 – “Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?”

1 Corinthians 12:31 – “But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.”

Two are better than one; because they have a good breward for their labour.

  10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour (v. 9).  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up (v. 10).”

Matthew 27:19 – “When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.”

Colossians 3:14 – “And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”

Dare

“Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success.  Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.”

Journal  

I have always included my husband in decisions of my life.  I tend to look at the big picture a  lot, meaning that I spend a lot of time thinking of the eternal consequence of the decisions we make today.  I know that my eternal happiness has a lot to do with having his help with decisions now.  I truly appreciate the insight he gives and plan on asking for his help often in the future.

 

Day 34:  Love Celebrates Godliness

Scriptures

1 Corinthians 13:6 – “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;”

2 Thessalonians 1:3-4 – “We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth (v. 3); So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure (v. 4):”

3 John 1:4 – “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”

Romans 16:19 – “For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil.”

Psalms 101:2 – “I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.”

Dare

“Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way.  Verbally commend them for this at some point today.”

Journal

My husband made this really easy for me.  I think Christian character can be found in a man who honors his priesthood and visits others saints to help them.  He went out today and did just that.  Later on this evening I told him how great it was that he did these kinds of things and that I love that he honors his priesthood.  I am always proud and amazed by his responsibilities and his willingness to serve others.  I think that it helps him to continue to do these things when I acknowledge it and give him the time away from our family to do it.  It may seem like a sacrifice to me, but it is more than worth it.

 

Day 35:  Love Is Accountable

Scriptures

Proverbs 15:22 – “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.”

Proverbs 12:15 – “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.”

Hebrews 3:13 – “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”

Romans 14:12 – “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”

Proverbs 11:14 – “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.”

Dare

“Find a marriage mentor–someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you.  If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.  During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.”

Journal

I am lucky to have a marriage mentor already set in place by God.  My bishop is there to guide my husband and I if we should ever fall into a place of trouble.  If he feels someone else is needed, he will let us know.  He is a wonderful Christian man in a loving marriage and is a great example to me.  I know that he loves me and my family and will help us if we ever need it.

 

Day 36:  Love Is God’s Word

Scriptures

Psalms 119:105 – “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

1 Corinthians 2:10 – “But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.”

Psalms 119:10-11 – “With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments (v. 10).  Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee (v. 11).”

Psalms 19:10 – “More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.”

2 Timothy 3:14 – “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them;”

James 1:22 – “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

Matthew 7:24-25 – “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (v. 24):  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock (v. 25).”

Romans 15:4 – “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”

Dare

“Commit to reading the Bible every day.  Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance.  If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you.  Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.”

Journal

I have been trying to read my scriptures daily for a while now and I can see the blessing that it is in my life and my marriage.  Our family is reading together as well and I am grateful for that time and what we learn together.  The more I read, the easier it is to apply the teachings of God in my life and the lives of my family.  I am truly grateful for the scriptures.

 

Day 37:  Love Agrees In Prayer

Scriptures

Matthew 18:19 – “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”

Psalms 88:13 – “But unto thee have I cried, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.”

Dare

“Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.  Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime.  Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord.  Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing.  Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.”

Journal

Along with scripture study, we have been praying together as a family.  I had not considered a separate prayer for my husband and I, but now I realize it is a great idea.  And the thought of kneeling in prayer as a couple when we are disagreeing is one that I hope to remember in the heat of an argument.  I am so grateful for the blessings that come from personal prayer and family prayers.  I hope that my husband and I will be able to make this a habit in our daily lives.

 

Day 38:  Love Fulfills Dreams

Scriptures

Psalms 37:4 – “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

Ephesians 2:4-5 – “But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us (v. 4), Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) (v. 5)”

Phillippians 4:7 – “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

Romans 5:8 – “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

2 Corinthians 9:8 – “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:”

Dare

“Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable.  Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their  desires, to whatever level you possibly can.”

Journal

I’ve put a couple days and a good deal of thought into this.  I think that simple things he’d like is games to play and good food to eat.  I’m working on these day to day.  I’m planning on giving him a couple games for his birthday, which is coming up in a few weeks.  The food is a work in progress, because we are trying to eat healthier, which means learning how to cook healthier and that is a challenge for me.  I am working on it though.  A bigger thing that I know he wants, is to take a trip to visit where he served his mission back in 1997-1999.  He’s mentioned occasionally that he’d like to visit before too much else changes.  We can virtually visit using google maps (satellite view), but it’s not the same.  He’d really like to show it off to me.  My plan is to start putting some of our savings towards it.  For now it may take a while to add up, but the thought is there.  I hope he will be surprised when the day finally comes.

In the past, the hardest thing for fulfilling his desires has been money.  We don’t have much, but I’m a believer in starting small.  I think that planning this for a while, will actually make it that much more fun to do for him.  I hope that it keeps my mind focused on him even more.

 

Day 39:  Love Endures

Scriptures

1 Corinthians 13:8 – “Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.”

Matthew 26:33, 35 – “Peter answered and said unto him, Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended (v. 33).  Peter said unto him, Though I should die with thee, yet will I not deny thee. Likewise also said all the disciples (v. 35).”

Luke 22:61 – “And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

Romans 11:29 – “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.”

Luke 21:33 – “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.”

Micah 7:18 – “Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.”

Dare

“Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse.  Include why you are committing to this marriage [forever], and that you have purposed to love them no matter what.  Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.”

Journal

This was a fun dare.  I had no problem writing a letter of commitment to my husband.  The thing that made it easiest is that I really truly feel what I wrote.  I left it for him to find on his computer keyboard.  He found it last night and was pleasantly surprised.  I think often of sharing the rest of my life with him and what eternity may be like as companions.  It makes me happy to know that my partner can be with me, side-by-side, forever.

 

Day 40:  Love Is A Covenant

Scriptures

Ruth 1:16 – “And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:”

Genesis 9:12-17 – “And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations (v. 12):  I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth (v. 13).  And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud (v. 14):  And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh (v. 15).  And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth (v. 16).  And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth (v. 17).”

Genesis 17:1-8 – “And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect (v. 1).  And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly (v. 2).  And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying (v. 3), As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations (v. 4).  Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee (v. 5).  And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee (v. 6).  And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee (v. 7).  And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God (v. 8 ).”

Exodus 19:3-6 – “And Moses went up unto God, and the Lord called unto him out of the mountain, saying, Thus shalt thou say to the house of Jacob, and tell the children of Israel (v. 3); Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bare you on eagles’ wings, and brought you unto myself (v. 4).  Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine (v. 5):  And ye shall be unto me a kingdom of priests, and an holy nation. These are the words which thou shalt speak unto the children of Israel (v. 6).”

2 Samuel 7:7-16 – “In all the places wherein I have walked with all the children of Israel spake I a word with any of the tribes of Israel, whom I commanded to feed my people Israel, saying, Why build ye not me an house of cedar (v. 7)?  Now therefore so shalt thou say unto my servant David, Thus saith the Lord of hosts, I took thee from the sheepcote, from following the sheep, to be ruler over my people, over Israel (v. 8 ):  And I was with thee whithersoever thou wentest, and have cut off all thine enemies out of thy sight, and have made thee a great name, like unto the name of the great men that are in the earth (v. 9). Moreover I will appoint a place for my people Israel, and will plant them, that they may dwell in a place of their own, and move no more; neither shall the children of wickedness afflict them any more, as beforetime (v. 10), And as since the time that I commanded judges to be over my people Israel, and have caused thee to rest from all thine enemies. Also the Lord telleth thee that he will make thee an house (v. 11).  And when thy days be fulfilled, and thou shalt sleep with thy fathers, I will set up thy seed after thee, which shall proceed out of thy bowels, and I will establish his kingdom (v. 13).  He shall build an house for my name, and I will stablish the throne of his kingdom for ever (v. 14).  I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men (v. 15):  But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee (v. 16).  And thine house and thy kingdom shall be established for ever before thee: thy throne shall be established for ever (v. 17).”

Hebrews 9:15 – “And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance.”

Malachi 2:14, 16 – “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant (v. 14).  For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously (v. 16).”

John 15:9 – “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.”

Psalms 105:8 – “He hath remembered his covenant for ever, the word which he commanded to a thousand generations.”

Dare

“Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.  Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister ad with family present.  Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.”

Journal

I wrote out vows to my husband and placed them on a wall in our house.  I was happy to write down the committments I have made to him and God for our marriage.

This “Love Dare” journey has been a blessing in my life.  I really have not had an awful marriage at any time so far, so certain parts were particularly easy for me.  I am grateful however, for the reminder that this gave me of how much I love my husband.  I want my life to always go hand-in-hand with his.  I want him to feel my love for him every day.  I am glad to have done this dare and I hope that others benefit from my thoughts on it.